Building A House

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A RELATIONSHIP IS LIKE BUILDING A HOUSE. Why? You might ask. Well think of it this way. You know those fifteen year olds, and unfortunately a lot of adults, “together forever after only 1 month”? Well they’re trying to put a roof on when all they’ve got is the hole for the foundation. Getting to know someone and building a relationship is a process that takes time; if all you have is a few supporting beams, that just won’t hold a roof. It’s a process and there are different stages.

With that in mind, let’s think about the divorce rate (40-50% US couples!). We have people who rush into relationships and marriages; rushing to build the house. But each individual tiny detail in building a house is important.

Okay, so you’ve got the foundation in, you’ve got the supporting beams and the drywall up, you’ve put the roof on and everything is wonderful. The external appearances are what you see and what everyone else sees, everything feels content and organized. But did you remember the insulation, the piping, the wiring, that makes the house function apart from keeping your heads out of the changing weather? The external appearance may be pretty, but what happens when something goes wrong? The money is tight, a family member dies, careers force lifestyle changes, you don’t agree on something? After rushing to paint this beautiful picture of a nice house with a white picket fence and a Golden Retriever on the lawn, it’s going to be awfully messy having to pull apart the walls to develop the portions of your relationship that you didn’t bother to think about in the beginning. And today people are very lazy. They like fast and easy, and quite frankly, having to tear down walls to finally put in effective living needs, is a daunting and tedious job just to even think of; and oftentimes people abandon the project because it seems too difficult and painful to deal with… So, there’s your high divorce rate.

But let’s think, if you take the time to build the house right from the get go, being careful and sure to add all the necessary components, you’ll feel better about putting the roof on. The walls and the foundation will be stronger and it may not be prettiest house on the street, but it will be the one most admired by onlookers and even yourself, for its stability (even as it ages).

Look at it this way, you spent more time on the internal workings and creating an effective environment rather than focusing on the external image, which does have a slight importance, but not nearly as much as how the facility runs. When an earthquake or another natural disaster happens, it remains upright while many others may fall. And sure, it won’t be easy to build a house from scratch, and there will be arguments over what tile to use for the floor, or what color to paint the walls; but when it’s all said and done, you can enjoy the roof over your heads, have the enjoyment of deciding on the external aesthetic together because the house is strong and with strength comes the fun part.

Of course, over the years, the walls may crack, the paint may fade, and the faucets might leak, but renovations can be had because the original structure is still standing, allowing you the ability to continue growing and changing with each other, to continue to stay relevant. And growth and lifestyle is hard work but it’s worth it because you’ll spend more time enjoying it than you do during the building process. At the end of the day, the work put into the wiring and plumbing and other various technicalities will be a bonding experience, and most of all, your house won’t be a hollow shell, echoing in your ear that you’re missing something important, something more than the exterior of a perfect aesthetic, something hidden in the walls, that what you’re missing in your relationship, is depth.

It may take a little more time to build a house the right way, but you’re sparing yourself the future resources and time, and possibly abandonment of one of the greatest constructions known to man. A house can be a home if you allow it to be. A house with a history is better than a new shiny polished building; and building the house together gives the house a history. Do it right the first time and you can spend 50+ years enjoying it without ever doubting its stability and trust; throw it together lazily to get to the good parts, and those parts will never come and/or never last. Everything will fall apart and you’ll be left wondering how things changed, how you barely ever knew the person; because the construction is half the enjoyment, like how it’s not all about the destination but the journey as well. And you’ll certainly appreciate it more once its complete.

If you can look at a person and think, “I wouldn’t mind fighting over the floor tile with you”, then you know it’s worth the effort. If you look at someone you’ve only known a short while and say, “together forever” before even thinking about the construction process, you’re living in a glorified fantasy land, because it’s not as simple as that. The house can become a big part of your life, and if its hollow on the inside, well that’s not much of a life at all, now is it? Sometimes imperfections, difficulties, and realness are more appreciated and admired than a perfect picture. And I don’t know about everybody else, but I’d much like to live a functioning house.

“God is the foundation.”




3 thoughts on “Building A House

  1. MB- lived your post “Building a house”. I see houses abandoned and falling down and I think “that used to be someone’a dream. A house, in order to be a home needs love and so do we. We also need grace. A good foundation is essential and I love that you know and let us know that foundation is God.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy that you liked the post! I actually wrote this back when I was in high school, still my favorite piece out of everything I’ve written. I didn’t always know the foundation was God, as you can see from my journey on the about me page. It’s a recent thing I’ve found. But it doesn’t deter from the message about building and growing with each other in a relationship, it only adds to it! ☺️


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